So many why’s?
He had everything and still the darkness within him took him away from a world of people who love him.
A strong dependable man, who was known for his love and support to others found darkness and wasn’t able to step away from it or stop it.
Why?
So many why’s?
Why didn’t he ask for help?
Why didn’t he say I’m sick?
Why didn’t he scream and shout and ask for someone to carry him? As he has carried so many before him?
Why didn’t he stop the action he was about to take?
Why didn’t he want to live anymore?
Why didn’t he walk in to a hospital instead and say take me I need help?
Why?
Why?
Why?
The darkness, no light is seen, no light creeps in and reminds you of a brighter day.
The darkness it takes over your soul and heart and slowly suffocates you. Not letting you see a way out. Not letting you see the light.
He needed a torch or even just a small firefly to flicker and show him the way.
He had so many people who could have helped him find the light. They would have done it without judgement or questions. They would have done it with love and dignity. They would have done it from a place of love, a place of thanks. They would have said “Thank you for letting me show you my love and support after the many times you have shown me the same.”
I’m sorry the darkness took you and you felt unable to see the light.
I’m sorry I didn’t reach out when I could see you were in pain.
I’m sorry to the ones you have left behind, they are now in pain.
I’m sorry your pain was unbearable to the point of darkness.
I hope you Rest In Peace Richard and as you watch over your family you continue to give them the support, love and courage that you have always done.
You are always with them forevermore and they love you so very dearly.