Day Twenty-one 'No sugar February'
Why do I feel down today?
What’s wrong with me? I feel down, I went out last night for my ballet teachers 50th birthday. To The Ivy darling – said in a rather posh voice please. The food was wonderfully exquisite darling.
But last night I struggled, I had a nice time with the ladies, don’t get me wrong but I had an element of paranoia. I don’t know what it was. Did I feel inferior to them? I felt over dressed in my dress and they are all very slim and very beautiful indeed.
I wasn’t drinking which they all were. I’m doing no sugar of course and this limits my choices somewhat. They were all drunk and I wasn’t. Is it that? I don’t know.
I walked to the bus stop with one of the ladies and we had a real conversation and it was lovely, human connection. I love the snippets of conversations that I have with each and everyone of them, as you do with a group of people. Becky was there and I love her to bits. So, what’s bloody wrong with me? Why do I feel down today? Am I actually an introvert who is capable of been an extrovert on stage but prefer and love smaller groups or 1-2-1 , not a massive group? Have I been lying to myself all these years or is it the lack of alcohol that was the problem or perhaps I’m just bloody down today and it’s got nothing to do with anything?