If I have learnt anything in this process, it’s to rest.
Rest and let your strength return, return to a capacity that enables you to go forward. Forward to fight to be heard, heard, and listened to, is what I needed in this ghastly situation.
There’s a quote, whether it’s from Banksy or not, I don’t know! My information states its Banksy! “If you get tired, learn to rest, not quit” I used to think it was about work but that was before I was living with a health condition.
A condition that has a solution and ending but to get to that ending and solution I need to be managing it.
I can’t sit about and wait for the world to sort my health out as I’d be waiting a very long time. A long time in pain and discomfort. The health professionals have thousands of patients, why are they going to remember me? As stated, I have a health condition that can be sorted if the ending is created.
But I’ve needed to rest in between the fight, and it’s taken this situation to show me that. I was always someone who never rested, I kept myself busy all the time; either helping others, doing more than I needed to at work or just been surrounded by situations and others. Being busy all the time, in my eyes was seen as a good thing; always helping others, a status of self-worth, I felt needed and wanted.
But there wasn’t any ‘actual’ resting, it was all a form of avoiding. Avoidance is a mechanism I’ve done most of my life, until I learnt to sit with the pain, emotional and physical pain. If I hadn’t have rested this time, I would have broken in the physical and mental sense.
Resting again has given me to space to re-evaluate, a space to rest my body, that has been pushed to its limits of late. A space to rejuvenate and focus on me, to remember the path and journey I was on before I became so busy. So busy to acknowledge what was going on! Perhaps if I’d stopped and rested before I got properly sick – I wouldn’t be in this situation now, needing major surgery. But that is another Mind Explosion or Mind Dump!
So, I ask you this:
Is your calendar always full?
Do you find it difficult to be alone?
Do you have FOMO – ‘fear of missing out’?
Are you always helping others?
Can you recall the last time you rested? I mean properly.
Sat still, in silence, listened to yourself and your surroundings.
Gave time to yourself and sat with your internal voice? And really listened to it? Really listened to what you need and want?
Then I implore you to rest, to sit or walk in silence, to listen to yourself - either through journaling or meditation. To understand your needs and wants, to learn if you are avoiding something or someone. To create a better understanding of self, to rest your mind, body and soul. But most importantly to listen, listen to whispers your body is saying before it has to shout to be heard, as it could be too late then.